10. The enemies and environment are really repetitive and bosses are formulaic
9. The graphics were better in the first game.
8. The ultra-egotistical character is better done by Stephen Colbert and Zaphod Beeblebrox
7. References to other games are parasitic and don’t add any value
6. The game fails to be surprising, ever (except for tickling the sphincter doors!)
5. I still don’t understand why the police turned into pigs
4. Video game sex appeal was best when Solid Snake had to lock himself in a locker to see a pin-up
3. Even when your life is at 0, you can get hit like 10 times before dying
2. Gearbox could have used this opportunity to actually make a good game
1. When I was 8 years old, the Duke Nukem strippers were WAY cooler.

Just In case that didn’t convince you…

I’m introducing some game support for the Fragpedal to get you going on Duke Nukem. I added a tap/press macro for melee and reload. Release the press before 150ms elapses for a melee, or a reload will kick in at 150ms. There’s also an aim toggle macro. This is useful in most games, and although Duke Nukem isn’t really big on accuracy, it’s still a good addition. Rather than having to hold right-click to aim, you can toggle it with your foot pedal. Relieve some tension in your hand so you can aim better.

Go to the files page for a happy ending to this post (download the macros!)